Monthly Archives: February 2012

Whoa! Mini-Meatloafs…Meatloaves…Muffins. Whatever.

Inspired by Juli of PaleOMG, I decided to make use of my now non-useful muffin pan. Behold! Mini-Mealoafs! Meatloaves. I dunno which one is proper, but “meatloaves” does look pretty weird. Gotta agree with Juli on this one. You could also call them Meatloaf Muffins, but uh, that sounds kind of odd too.

Edited March 27th, 2015. No more PaleOMG for me. NOPE NOPE NOPE.

Or, just call them DAMN GOOD. Cuz they are.

Mini-Meatloaves with Smokey Tomato and Red Pepper Sauce

1/4 or 1/8 of that roast beef you made the other night (cuz I know you made it, right?!), chopped into what I’ll call ‘beef lardons’ or itty bitty cubes
2 – 3 pounds of lean or extra lean ground beef
Coconut oil + butter (or lard, or combo)
1/2 of a medium to large white onion
2 – 3 cloves of garlic, chopped
2 tablespoons of almond flour/meal
1/4 can of coconut milk
1 of each: red pepper, yellow pepper, green pepper
2 – 4 tablespoons of chipotle powder
2 – 4 tablespoons of paprika
1 – 2 teaspoons garlic powder
2 teaspoons rubbed dry sage
2 tablespoons chopped cilantro
1 teaspoon cumin powder
salt and pepper

1 extra clove of garlic, unpeeled
3/4 cup crushed tomatoes
1/4 cup beef or bone broth
Paprika, about 1 teaspoon
Red pepper flakes, to taste
1 – 2 tablespoons coconut milk

First off, cut off a hunk of that roast beef you made the there night thanks to moi, and slice yourself some pieces about 1/4″ inch thick. Now, cut them into tiny cubes, or what I’m calling ‘beef lardons’, French term for the exact same thing, only with pork. Set this aside.

Add your ground beef to a large mixing bowl. Season generously with salt and pepper. Chop up your green and yellow pepper into a dice, and add them to the bowl. Add your ‘beef lardons’ to the bowl, as well as your almond meal, coconut milk, most of your chipotle powder (reserve about a teaspoon), sage, chopped cilantro, cumin, garlic powder, paprika.

Now, onto something completely different. Pre-heat your frying pan to about medium heat, and add your choice of coconut oil, butter or lard. I used a coconut oil/butter combo. Saute your onions in this mixture until lightly browned and translucent. Add a teaspoon of your reserved chipotle powder. Stir. Inhale. Ahhhhh. Love that smell! Add your garlic at the end, and stir gently just to heat it through. There is nothing worse than burnt garlic. Take this off the heat. Allow this mixture to cool.

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees. If your mixture is cool by now, add it to your huge bowl of food stuffs! Now…are you ready to get yer hands dirty? Dunk both your hands in and start mixing this all together. Really work on this; you want everything combined nicely. I work this for about 5 minutes, or until everything looks well marbled together.

Yes, marbled!

A cool trick I learned from Roger Mooking from the Food Network, is to make a tiny patty of this mixture, and fry it up. How else are you going to know if it tastes good? So, have at it. Mine was awesome. This means…it’s time to make your Mini Mealoaves…Meatloafs…Muffins…whatever.

I formed the mixture into balls about 3″ in diameter. If it fits nicely in your palm, you’re good to go. Pop each of these bad boys into each muffin tin, and press down just a tad. I oiled my pan with some olive oil. I later realized I didn’t need to. You’ll soon read why.

This quantity makes about 9 of these tasty guys.

Pop ’em in the oven for about 25 minutes. After about 15 minutes, I turned the heat down to 325. Now, watch them. Turn on your vent. The fat and juice will render out and *may* make your kitchen a smoky mess. Or maybe my oven sucks. I set off both smoke alarms, had the vent going, and had to open windows and doors. Wifey was not impressed.

Edited to add: Sister-in-laws are so SMART! I don’t know why I didn’t think of this: put a pan or baking sheet at the bottom of your oven to catch drippings. This will ensure they don’t burn and turn your kitchen into a smoke-house 🙂

ANYWAY. There’s one more thing: sauce!

Add your tomato sauce, one chopped red pepper, one unpeeled garlic clove, paprika, bone/beef broth, chilli pepper flakes, and salt to a saucepan and bring to a boil over medium heat. Turn the heat way down, and let this simmer while your loaves are cooking.

After 25 minutes, you will have beautifully browned, juicy, flavourful loaves. Take them out to cool.

I hope you have an immersion blender, also known as a stick blender, or a plain ol’ blender or food processor will do. Make sure you take that garlic clove out, give it a slight squeeze. It’ll pop out of its skin. Blitz your tomato and pepper mixture and add the 1-2 tablespoons of coconut milk to it. Now you’ve got an awesome sauce! Yes, you do!

Place one or two of these awesome loaves onto a plate, slice them open, and pour that awesome sauce you made over them. Devour.


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Welcome to PrimalPat! Roast Beef and BBQ Parsnip Fries…say WAT

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Hey you!

Welcome to my life. Yes, it’s true. You found me. I’m here to give you new food inspiration for your primal/paleo eating habits. I’m here to make you laugh, chortle and educated. On top of being an at-home chef, I’m a bit of a nutrition nut. I study this stuff like it’s my Masters or PhD. It may as well be.

Edited March 27th, 2015. Don’t be a fucking food snob. Everyone will hate you. I know. I never had candida, either. BOO!

But what would a food blog be without a FOOD POST?!

Ok, there’s some back story to this. I broke my 24-hour fast with this meal. If you’re not sure why one would fast, I suggest heading over to Mark’s Daily Apple and do a wee bit of searching. Intermittent fasting is great for fat-burning acceleration, but also, for health reasons. I’m battling a candida overgrowth, and I want the little bastard to die already. So, while my tummy rumbled, I fed it plenty of water, olive leaf-extract, and a few candida stopping pills. The immense beauty and smell of dinner this evening was too much, and I had to give in!

Roast Beef and BBQ Parsnip Fries (who needs potatoes?!)

1 big ol’ hunk of beef (pot roast, shoulder, whatever)

1 large white onion, 2 – 3 cloves of garlic, smashed

Salt, pepper, turmeric, sweet paprika, garlic powder, sage, marjoram

Several tablespoons of wild boar lard (or delicious fat of your choice)

3 – 4 parsnips, peeled, cut up into fry-like pieces

Parchment paper (this will make your life so much easier, I promise)

Story and Instructions

After my physio appointment earlier today, I stopped by a nearby grocery store to pick up some food stuffs. I was craving beef. Hell, I was craving everything, since I’d been up since a little after 8am, and had nothing, absolutely nothing to eat. Water was sustaining me. Everything looked and smelled delicious in that damned grocery store. I headed over to the meat isle and found a nice big ‘ol slab of beef. Now, remember…I was shopping in a fasted state. I don’t remember the cut I bought. Maybe it was a rib-eye roast, or round tip roast. I don’t care. It was a big honking piece of beef, and I was STARVING. So, I bought it. I also bought two pieces of veal shank osso buco…which is making me crazy stupid excited to try out. That’s for another day.

Another thing: I just discovered wild boar lard at a shop called Medium Rare. I’m confident God eats plenty of this stuff. We’ve been using it to fry bacon, eggs, veggies, and yes, it plays an important role in this meal. But fear not, reader! If you do not have wild boar lard, use bacon fat, coconut oil, pork lard, or hell, a combination of all of the above.

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees. Preheat your frying pan at around medium heat, and keep it there for nearly five minutes. It’ll be hot, but not holy-shit-smoking hot. Add in your lard. Slosh it around in the pan. Now, take that hunka-hunka piece of beef you bought, and gently place it in your pan. Ssssssssss. Sizzling, right? Good. Season generally with salt and pepper. Now, leave it alone. I’m serious. Leave it! Let the frying pan and beef get to know each other, and mingle. You’re going leave those two alone for close to five minutes.

K? You ready? Grab your tongs, and flip that bad boy carefully onto it’s other side. Wow! You’ve probably got a sexy, seared piece of meat huh? Yes, you do. K, now leave it again for a few minutes. At this temperature, you won’t burn it. I promise. Unless you had a washroom emergency, and you were in there for uh, way too long. Then I can’t help you. You’ve got a burnt piece of meat.

Repeat this process until every single side of that beef is dark, beautiful and crispy. If that means holding it up with your tongs and standing there like a fool for five minutes, so be it. It’s worth it! Trust me!

Chop up that onion into chunks. Lay ’em down in a roasting pan, season with salt and pepper, and toss those crushed garlic gloves in. Those poor garlic gloves. So crushed. *sniffle*

Once that beef is seared, carefully place it on top of your onion bed, if you will. Now, sprinkle generously with your beautiful turmeric, paprika, sage, marjoram, garlic powder. And…a few blobs of lard. Yes, do it. DOOO EEEET. Some extra salt and pepper, but don’t go crazy. Is your oven ready? Awesome. Chuck her in!

I gave mine about 1.5 hours in the oven. It is juicy, delicious, with a crispy, delicious crust.

Now, increase your oven temp to 400 degrees. Now on to those fries! Oh my god. These fries are so good, they make me weep.

By now, you’ve peeled and cut up your parsnips. Lay out some parchment paper onto your baking sheet or two (parchment paper makes cleanup so easy; but if you don’t have it, no biggie. I aint’ doing yer dishes!). Melt about 1 – 2 tablespoons of lard in a small bowl in the microwave. Drizzle over yer ‘snips, and toss ’em to coat. Generously coat with salt, pepper, turmeric, paprika and more garlic powder. Toss ’em so they’re eventually coated. I’d say you’re probably using about 2 tablespoons each of turmeric and paprika, the rest to your choosing. You should have some beautiful, colourful parsnips there, friend! Once your oven is ready, pop ’em in. You’ll want to check on these bad boys after 15 – 20 minutes in. Flip ’em, or they’ll burn on one side. At this point, I stir in a teaspoon or two of more lard for flavour. This stuff is unreal! Really! Put ’em back in for about 5 – 10 minutes.

Are you ready for this?!

This meal is amazing hot out of the oven, or cold. It’s outstanding. It was worth breaking my fast. I ate the ‘fuck out of it’, as my awesome wife Linda would say. I made these parsnip fries the other day, and they were a huge hit with her. Remember: cooking isn’t just for you to fed your big mouth. It’s most importantly, for those you love 😀

To food, joy, health and love. Enjoy!

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