Category Archives: organic salad greens

Big Ass Salad with Bacon, Shallot and Garlic Dressing

It’s beautiful, isn’t it? C’mon. You know you want some.

Did somebody say bacon?

Mark Sisson over at Mark’s Daily Apple loves his big ass salads. So do I. I haven’t had one in a long time.

Edited March 27th, 2015. Sisson is a clever, clever man, a genius in marketing. But that doesn’t mean he should dole out nutritional advice. After four months on the Primal Blueprint, I was so fucking sick of salad, that there simply was no tasty dressing, no rich topping that I could possibly add to continue eating Big Ass Salads for lunch every day.

This morning, my iPhone failed to wake me up on time for my physio appointment. It died over night. This has never, ever happened to me. My appointment was at 7:20am.

What time did I wake up?


Aw, crap!

I called, and they fit me in for 8am. Awesome. As the morning progressed, I realized I was a) still so tired, but most importantly, b) starving!

When I came home, I chugged back some more tea, prolonging my fasting some more.

Edited March 27th, 2015.


Wifey and I hit up Whole Foods after David’s Tea, and I picked up some extra things, namely cherry tomatoes, some shredded chicken from the hot food bar, and butter. OH. And macadamia nut butter. More on that later.

Salads need never be boring. Most people are like, “Ugh, salad, really?” Yes, really. Since the media has pounded into your skull that we MUST, ABSOLUTELY MUST get roughly 30grams of fibre a day (we don’t, but that’s a whole other story), I’m here to tell you that eating one Big Ass Salad a day will give you your daily amount of fibre and then some. With a hearty dose of fat and protein, a salad is an awesome meal unto itself. Mine was my very late breakfast. Salads are awesome for lunch and especially for dinner too. If you have all the ingredients necessary, they require very little prep time, save for some chopping, and making an outstanding, delicious dressing.

Ah, salad dressing. The store bought stuff is chock full of high glucose corn syrup, rancid vegetable oils, some form of polysorbate something-something, and really…do you really want to be eating that stuff? Especially when making home-made dressing tastes so much better?

Edited March 27th, 2015. STFU PAT! YOU ELITIST BRAT! Oh my god, how did anyone put up with me for over three years of paleo/primal BS???

Get thee to the kitchen and get whatever veggies you have in the fridge. This is ultimately customizable, so have at it!

Big Ass Salad with Bacon, Shallot and Garlic Dressing

4 huge handfuls of organic mixed greens
1 huge handful of cherry tomatoes
1/4 to 1/2 yellow pepper, cut into 1 inch pieces
1 large shallot, sliced thin
1 garlic glove, finely chopped
2 strips good quality, pastured bacon
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
2 – 3 teaspoons fresh lemon juice
Sea salt and black pepper
1/2 large avocado, cut into pieces
Whatever leftover protein you have: I bought some shredded chicken from Whole Foods. Use whatever you like!

Combine your greens, tomatoes, pepper and protein in a large bowl. Set this aside.

Using scissors, cut up your bacon into pieces into a frying pan set to medium heat. Stirring frequently, lightly brown your bacon, about 3 minutes or so. Add in your shallots, garlic and stir frequently, about 20 – 30 seconds. Remove from heat. Add in your olive oil, and lemon juice. I really approximated the lemon juice. Add as much or as little as you like. Add sea salt and pepper to taste.

Pour this beautiful warm dressing over your greens, and toss to coat evenly. Carefully pour this out onto a plate, and arrange your avocado pieces on top.

There. You are done making a wicked, awesome, filling, delicious, and definitely NOT boring salad.

Macadamia nut butter. Those three words conjure up images of creamy, buttery dreaminess.

I had two heaping tablespoons of it after inhaling my salad for dessert. Yes, for dessert. It was everything I hoped for and more! *weeps*

Since I’ve mentioned fasting on more than one occasion, I’d like to plug some recent articles Mark has posted on fasting. Excellent reading, knock yourself out:

Why Fast? Part I – Weight Loss

Why Fast? Part II – Cancer

Edited March 27th, 2015. NOPE NOPE NOPE.

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Roasted Whole Chicken with Garlic and Lime FOR A GOOD TIME! PLUS: Sexy Sautéed Greens with Bacon

Linda came up with “for a good time”. It made me laugh out loud. I had to use it.

This meal also comes with sexy sautéed greens with bacon. BACON! What isn’t made better with bacon? Bacon is like butter. Everyone loves it, and if they don’t, they should. Actually, if they don’t…I worry.

I came home from work starving. The chicken was already in the oven for an hour, and needed some browning. On goes the broiler. It took me less than 30 seconds to sauté the greens once the bacon was done.

Roasted Whole Chicken with Garlic and Lime (FOR A GOOD TIME!)

Serves two very hungry people.

1 organic, or antibiotic free whole chicken, about 2 – 3 lbs
5 cloves of garlic, chopped
2 tablespoons organic butter, melted
1 – 2 tablespoons dried sage
1.5 teaspoons white pepper
Sea salt
1 whole lime, rolled and pierced (WHA?)*

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

*Take your lime and roll it against your countertop as hard as you can. This will loosen those pretty little cells of juice. Roll this around for a few minutes until it’s nice and loose feeling. Then, using the tip of a sharp knife, or fork, pierce it all over.

Take out your chicken, and stuff the cavity with your rolled and pierced lime.

Using your fingers, lift the skin off the chicken as much as you can, all around. You are creating a pocket for that awesome garlic you chopped up. Shove said garlic pieces under the skin: breast, thighs, drumsticks, everywhere. Nicely tuck the skin back in everywhere. Carefully pour your butter all over the chicken and make sure it’s nicely coated. Season generously with sea salt, and sprinkle white pepper and sage all over. Place your chicken into a baking dish.

When your oven is ready, pop that happy bird in. This will take about an hour or so. Broil it for the last 5 minutes to get beautiful crispy skin all around.

Remove it from the oven and let it stand for 5 – 10 minutes to rest. TEAR THAT BIRD APART AND ENJOY!

But not until you’ve made:

Sexy Sautéed Greens with Bacon

Serves 2.

4 huge handfuls of organic mixed salad greens
1 tablespoons coconut oil
3 slices good quality, pastured bacon
Sea salt to taste

On medium-high heat, use a pair of scissors to cut up slices of bacon. This is an awesome trick. Bacon is kind of a pain to slice with a knife. Drop this into your pan, add in your coconut oil. Allow your bacon to brown nicely, and keep stirring. Drop in your greens and toss until wilted. This will take less than 20 seconds! Add a pinch of sea salt to taste. Remove from heat immediately.

Serve with your delicious roasted chicken and most importantly: ENJOY! Don’t forget to destroy that tasty skin.

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Hot Shrimp Salad and Buttery Roasted Cauliflower Soup

You guys get a two-for-one dealie again, since I’ve been kind of sickly and away. I missed you!

My digestion isn’t perfect yet, but it’s getting better. I’m currently watching Risky Business and Tom Cruise looks like such a BABY. How old was he when he did this movie? Hold on a second.


He was 21! My god! He looks like he’s 16, and barely hit puberty, with his voice still being a pitch too high for a 21-year. Oh, Tom. So cute. I want to pinch your cheeks.

Now, on to some fooooooood.

I love leftovers. You can use them in a whole new fashion, and blow your tastebuds away. I had some leftover collard greens that I’d cooked in some wild boar lard (I still have it!), and just purchased some organic mixed salad greens. I also had some frozen cooked shrimp.

Oh my God, BALKI IS IN THIS MOVIE!?!?! Perfect Strangers was a major part of my childhood!

Sorry. Still watching Risky Business.

I like to change up my food sources, and to be honest, I’m not a shrimp kind of gal. In fact, I don’t eat a lot of seafood. But I’d like to change all that. So I bought a bag of frozen cooked shrimp from Metro, and had it in broth a few times. Yum! But this time, I needed something different. This was my breakfast.

Hot Shrimp Salad

Serves one.

6 frozen (but cooked) shrimp, with the tail still on
2 tablespoons organic butter
1 large garlic clove, chopped roughly
3 tablespoons bone broth
Leftover cooked collard greens, about 1.5 – 2 cups
1 big handful of organic mixed salad greens
1 pinch red pepper flakes
Sea salt

Heat your frying pan to medium high and melt your butter. When sizzling, add your shrimp. Leave your shrimp to brown slightly, about 1 – 2 minutes. Add in your 3 tablespoons bone bone and cover. This keeps the shrimp cooking through, and the broth adds some nice steam to do so. Leave this for about another 2 – 3 minutes. Lift up your lid, and add your garlic. Ahhhh. Butter, garlic and shrimp! Your kitchen smells awesome now, doesn’t it? Stir to mingle, making sure not to burn your garlic. Add in your collard greens, and handful of mixed salad greens. Toss and stir for about 1 minute longer. Add in your red pepper flakes, and a dash of sea salt at the end.

You’re right. This really isn’t a salad. But the butter, and broth, and fresh greens at the end…shut up. It’s a salad. Deal. Now, eat it!

Ok, now that you’re done stuffing your face on Hot Shrimp Salad, on to some creamy, buttery cauliflower soup.

One day, I was torturing myself looking at amazing, gluten-free sweets made by Elana at Elana’s Pantry. She is pretty well the gluten-free Goddess on the interwebs. I’m not crazy about her use of almond flour in baking (holy oxidized omega-6 fatty acids, Batman), and agave nectar (highly processed, fructose BOMB to your liver), however…her creativity is astounding. I ❤ you Elana! When my candida is fully destroyed, I will be making your unreal Coconut Key Lime Cupcakes. Oh my god. OH. MY. GOD.

Edited March 27th, 2015. Food elitism 101. Why didn’t anyone slap me?

Elana had a recipe for roasted cauliflower soup. I filed it somewhere deep in the recipe rolodex of my brain for later. A few days ago, while making some other dinner type of food, I roughly cut up a whole head of cauliflower, and chucked it in the oven at 425 degrees, slathered in olive oil and sea salt. I cooked it for about 25 minutes until golden brown.

I left it out overnight to cool. This was a bad idea. The cats got hungry and went after it. Bastard cats. Harry and Zoe are beautiful, special and loving. But sometimes…they are EVIL! I love them still. It made me laugh the next morning to find wee little pieces of golden roasted cauliflower half-eaten on the floor.


I should also note here that my cats love bone broth added to their soft food. Licking their chops afterwards something fierce. Harry also loves bulletproof tea. His pupils become huge when I sit down on the couch with a beer stein (yes, I use a beer stein for my bulletproof tea) full of tea. He’s all like “OMG MAMA WUT IS DAT?!” and his head kind of starts to bob towards me, his noise twitching and sniffing. I dip my finger into coconut oil and butter fat at the top, and he goes to town. What a pig.

Cats know what is good and delicious.

Edited March 27th, 2015. Bulletproof tea was fucking disgusting and I made myself drink it. Ew.

Now…onto some ZUPA!

Creamy, Buttery Cauliflower Soup

Serves 2, large portions.

3 tablespoons organic butter
1 whole medium sized onion cut into chunks
1 whole head cauliflower, cut up, roasted at 425 degrees until golden brown
2 large cloves of garlic, smashed and rough chopped
1.5 teaspoons dried rosemary
3/4 teaspoon white pepper
Sea salt
Approx. 2 cups bone broth
1 cup water
Bone marrow (I found some hiding in my broth!)
1/2 cup coconut milk
1 cup leftover cubed beef roast

Melt your butter in a medium sized pot over medium high heat. Add in your onions. Add a pinch of sea salt. Slowly increase the heat to really brown and beautifully caramelize the onions. Keep stirring furiously. Don’t worry about the brown bits forming on the bottom of the pan. We’ll deal with that shortly. Keep browning the onions for about 4 – 5 minutes. Add in a little bit of bone broth to the pot. Scrape the brown bits off the bottom of the pot, incorporating their browned goodness. Add cauliflower and garlic. Keep stirring. Add a dash of seal salt, your rosemary and white pepper. Turn the heat down to medium high at this point.

Carefully add your bone broth, bone marrow (did you find some in your crock pot too?!), 1 cup of water to the mix. Simmer for about 5 minutes. You should have a gorgeous, deep golden pot of luscious soup. But! We’re not done yet!
Add your half cup of coconut milk. I promise, your soup won’t taste like coconut. But it will be creamy!

You have a stick blender by now right? Good. If not, very, very carefully add this pot full of WIN to a food processor or blender, and blend until smooth. Using your stick blender, blitz and puree until smooth. Now, the most important part:


Have a taste. Oh man, that’s AMAZING! Does it need a wee bit more salt, more white pepper? Stir some in at the end.

Soup’s up! Toss in some of those cubed pieces of leftover beef for a seriously delicious meal.


So, Joel/Tom Cruise gets in trouble for cracking his Mama’s artsy fartsy glass egg. After all that! Risky Business is good times 😀

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