Tag Archives: beautiful


Oh my goodness. It’s been so long since I last posted that I actually forgot how to log in!


I’m sorry. No, I truly am. Life got busy. I really mean it. The last time I *actually* did any updating here was to my “About Me” page, and I wrote in there that on November 19th, 2013, my other half and I welcomed our son Jakob into the world.

YAAAAAAAS! PrimalPat became a Mama!

“They” were right. Having a kid changes everything.


I’ve never known severe lack of sleep until I became a mother. College was a joke. Four hours of sleep? No problem. I do not remember the first few months of Jake’s life because of how wrecked on sleep I was. There was crying. A lot of crying. Not just Jake. But his mother and I especially.


I remember driving home from a physiotherapy appointment and veering off the side of the road. This is not a joke! Lack of sleep has serious repercussions!

A few days after Jakob was born, one of our midwives, Allison commented:

“Lack of sleep has been shown to cause brain damage”.

Oh? What fixes it?



Parenting tests every single possible human trait one possesses. Your patience will never be more pushed. Your frustration will never be more ready to reach a fever pitch. Your level of vulnerability threatens to crumble at any mention in the news, television or even a movie about something awful that happened to a child. Children break your heart.

And you will never, ever feel such pure, perfect joy.

The day after Jakob was born wifey, myself and our little man were moved into a different room. Wifey and I hadn’t slept in days. We were in a haze of sleep-reduced numbness. But there were numerous times, whilst watching my wife with our son, that I started to cry, uncontrollably, not even being completely aware of my raw emotion seeping from my eyeballs.


Children break your heart. If you are free and open with emotion, wearing your heart on your sleeve like yours truly, prepare to be broken open.

I have a video captured from my iPhone of Jake’s first real honest laughing fit. I was acting like an ape (no, seriously) in the kitchen, flailing my arms about and generally being a goofball. And Jake was sitting in his mother’s lap, laughing hysterically. The video is shaky because I myself could not stop laughing. A baby’s laugh is severely infectious and its main ingredient is effortless joy.

Babies live in the moment. They don’t ruminate. They don’t worry about bills. They don’t fret over what brand of baby wipes are being used on them. They don’t worry that their diaper is full of shit. Or meconium. The world is enormous and captivating. They watch intently as you interact with them. They think the most random things…like ripping paper…or pushing your face aside with their hand is the funniest thing imaginable.

I’ve perfected my impression of the muppet known as Animal. My favourite Muppet, ever. Screaming “WOMAN! WOMAN! AHHHHH! MICHELLE! WOMAN! ANIMAL!” gives Jake the giggles. It’s really fun making a little kid laugh. It taps into your own inner child.

You remember your own inner child, don’t you? The one that didn’t care that it was minus 21 degrees in the middle of January, and you were busy sitting in your snow fort during recess? The inner child that freely expressed itself, busted a move at a moments’ notice, sang exuberantly along with your favourite Disney movie (The Little Mermaid, anyone? Oh, you’re a Lion King fan. I get it) and played outside?

Playing outside? Do kids do that anymore?

There’s a group of little girls on my street who are outside the very second the temperature rises above 6 degrees celsius. And they stay out for hours. They adore Jake. They come over running when one of us is outside with him. We’ve taken to calling them his fan club. They fawn and swoon over him.

“Ohhhhh, he’s sooooooooo cute!” they say.

He is sweet. He shares his cookies. We never taught him how to share. Cookies are “KAKA!” which he says in a soft whisper, as if it is a secret code word, and the cats better not find out. He points toward the kitchen and says:


One “kaka” is not enough. He must double fist. His little cheeks threaten to burst with a wide grin that spreads from ear to ear, a “kaka” in each hand. Dare cookies are AMAZING. He chomps on his kakas, chocolate cookie crumbs all over his little face as he wobbles over to me on the couch, shoving a piece of kaka in my face, smiling broadly.


He smiles, ever so proud of himself and hobbles away.

Have I changed? Oh yes.

My tolerance for bullshit dropped about 1,736,927 points. The stupidly and banality of every day life that used to stir intense anxiety is meaningless. I have better, far more important things to fret about.

Growing up in a divisive family meant I felt very alone much of the time. Family can utterly destroy and disappoint, reject and abandon. When you begin your own family, you tell yourself it is going to be different. When you see the rage your own parents expressed boiling in your chest, it’s terrifying and reality sets in.

“I will not be like my parents”.

It’s impossible to avoid being like your parents. Children model what they see around them. And who do they see for a large percentage of their waking time? Their parents. Parenting is tough, nail-biting, sleep-destroying, limit-pushing stuff. We ought to remind ourselves of our very own inner child that did not give any fucks about “childish things”. Oh, the irony.

Our children remind us to be present, to be fully mindful. Do yourself a favour and breathe. Be in the moment with your kiddo. Remind yourself you will not be like your parents, by being full aware in the moment. By being more like them. Revelling in joy, in new discoveries, in wonder and awe.

“Truly I say to you, if you do not become like little children, you will not enter the Kingdom of God”

– Matthew 18:3

Yes, I just quoted the Man from Nazareth. If the Kingdom of God is a state of pure Being, of total presence and awareness, then children lead the way.

Be like little children.

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Blackened, Rich and Beautiful Chicken Thighs!

Le sigh.

I’m so sorry kids. I’m really, really frakin’ sorry for not having posted in weeks. It’s not that I haven’t been cooking. Food’s going down at this Primal-ites house…I’ve just been busy. Know what else?

We bought a HOUSE! I mean, we already have a house. But paying condo fees isn’t fun, and while we love the house, we have longed to move back to our old stomping grounds while we rented: Port Credit in gorgeous South Mississauga.

The Universe did us a solid: it found us a gorgeous, charming and very cute semi-detached home just west of Port Credit, in super-sexy, ultra-pretigious Lorne Park. Oh em gee. Everything came together beautifully. It was all just so easy. Our agent even grew up on the same street as wifey. Too many odd quirks and ‘coincidences’ popped up. I love when that stuff happens.

Now, we will be listing our town home for sale very soon. We have a wee bit of cleaning here and there to do, but our house is fabulous, and we have no concerns about it selling, and selling fast.

As I type this, I have a large chunk of beef roasting in the oven. I am starving. I’m super psyched to eat it with some squash I think I’ll boil up, mash with butter and herbs.

Also, my ass and hamstrings are killing me from the Crossfit WOD I did yesterday. It was insane. Walking, sitting, getting *up* from a sitting position: yeah, it HURTS!


My back is loving all of it. It feels one billion times better than it ever has, in that I am in NO PAIN whatsoever. Car accident? What car accident?

Let’s talk about food. I could write about a lot of things I’ve done over the last few weeks. I’ll space it out instead.

A few weeks back, wifey was battling some infection that comes and goes every year and attacks her vocal chords. Being the health nerd and food nut that I am, I prepared her an anti-inflammatory, immune-system boosting concoction that Mark Sisson of MDA calls Turmeric Tea.

This is a potent, rich, flavourful tea combining powerful anti-inflammatory ingredients such as turmeric and black pepper. In fact, the addition of black pepper is what actually gives the turmeric it’s inflammation-kicking qualities.

Combined with warm, intense, flavours of cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves, the turmeric blends into a smokey, lingering warmth on your tongue. The coconut milk is rich and smooth; it’s a perfect carrier for all ingredients , its silkiness cooling down the heat of the spices.

Edited March 27th, 2015. NOPE NOPE NOPE. I made said turmeric tea a few months back when I was down with a cold. And you know what? It’s fucking disgusting. Just…NOPE.

I had some boneless, skinless chicken thighs to cook. I wanted some deep, rich, flavourful blackened chicken. I knew what would achieve this for longer cooking times: lard!

I made a large batch of this spice mix; I continuously seasoned the chicken while it cooked. I don’t recommend cooking chicken thighs on high. They like long, low heat. These took about 25 minutes.

By now you know I eyeball everything in the kitchen. Take these as serious approximations, and feel free to experiment with amounts:

I used about 1.5 tablespoons of cinnamon as the main ingredient, with 1 teaspoon, maybe 2, each remaining ingredient. Maybe a little less for the nutmeg. Try for .5 teaspoon.

Black Pepper
Garlic Powder


Combine all ingredients and generously sprinkle over chicken thighs coated with some olive oil. Heat a large frying pan on medium high heat, and add about 1 tablespoon of lard. You know me: I love my wild boar lard. It’s perfect for dark, flavourful chicken. Season chicken with sea salt prior to adding to pan.

When your pan is hot, add your chicken. Now, don’t crowd it. Meat that needs to sear and brown doesn’t like to be crowded. It’ll be all like:


Or something like that. Your meat will actually start to steam in it’s own juices. We don’t want that.

Let the chicken darken and sear for about 2 – 3 minutes on one side. Flip it. Turn your heat down, and cover. Check on this periodically, and flip every so often. Keep adding seasoning to both sides. Cook until chicken is no longer pink.

I enjoyed this with butternut squash. You can eat it with whatever you like. But please, enjoy it 😉

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