Tag Archives: lard

AHM SUCH A BIG DEAL MAMA MEATBALLS!

I know, I know. You’ve seen my post, and you’re mad.

“Pat, what the $%#@ took you so long?!”

In the past few months, I married, honeymoon-ed, and moved into a new house. It was a stressful, but a very exciting time. Also, MOVING SUCKS. Moving is like ONE LONG CROSSFIT WORKOUT. We’re never doing this again.

Linda and I were unpacking clothing in our dual walk-in closets, cursing like sailors.

“$#@! WE’RE NEVER, EVER MOVING EVER AGAIN”

But wait. I’m sure you want proof that we got married. I’m the blonde. Linda’s the hotter one 🙂

At the end of July, I discovered I have a ton of food allergies.

My naturopathic doc took a blood sample from me earlier in the month and shipped it off to Washington. I went in for a followup appointment the day after returning from honeymoon, which was in Los Angeles, by-the-way. We had an awesome time. I’d live there. Not permanently. The US lack of a health care system is ridiculous.

Back to my insane food allergies. LOOK AT THESE FOOD ALLERGIES:

Eggs…AVOID! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Dairy….moderate…but it may as well say AVOID!
Gluten….moderate…oh well. I’ve been avoiding it anyway.
Brewers yeast….no beer for me. This is only slightly upsetting. BUT COME ON.
Spices like cumin, ginger, turmeric, vanilla, paprika, nutmeg. Vegetables like kale! KALE!

I very nearly cried in my doc’s office. What the %$#@ was I going to eat?

After a few weeks, I got over it. Symptoms I’ve had for years and years started disappearing: dark circles under my eyes, post-nasal drip. Discovering these allergies actually made things a lot simpler for me. I started eating a lot more seafood: canned sardines, canned wild salmon, shrimp. An entire avocado is usually part of breakfast.

In talking with my doctor, we realized I have a case of adrenal fatigue. Your adrenals are a major part of your overall health and well-being. They regulate your immune system and blood sugar levels. Food allergies, and being overly sensitive to certain scents are a typical symptom of adrenal fatigue. Never feeling well-rested no matter how much you sleep is yet another sign of adrenal fatigue. It’s a vicious cycle. For my readers suffering from candida, it usually arises because of adrenal fatigue. In fact, I’m confident in saying that if you treat the main source of your problem, which in this case, is adrenal fatigue, the rest should probably, well, EFF OFF.

At the suggestion of an herbalist, I’m now taking liquorice root powder a few times a day in some water. My sleep has improved, and I don’t really feel the need to drink tea in the morning as I normally would. I do anyway, because I love yerba mate. Things are not perfect, but they are a step in the right direction.

I’ll blog properly about the adrenals one day very soon. I have loads of ideas for upcoming blog posts. I promise I’ll behave.

Edited March 27th, 2015. OMG SO MUCH INCORRECT BS.

Maybe.

Now on to a stupendous meal. My cat Harry plays a part in the making of this meal. You’ll get to meet him. I sincerely hope you enjoy this as much as I did. It is intensely rich, incredibly flavourful, nourishing and delicious!

AHM SUCH A BIG DEAL MAMA MEATBALLS

2 lbs ground lamb
1 teaspoon garlic powder
Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
2 tablespoons each: roughly chopped fresh oregano, fresh basil, fresh mint, plus 1 extra tablespoon each oregano and basil
1 whole head of garlic
1 700ml bottle pureed tomatoes (yeah, mine came in a BOTTLE)
1 28oz can diced tomatoes
Lard
1/2 large onion, roughly chopped

Combine lamb, salt, pepper, garlic powder, 2 tablespoons each fresh oregano, basil, mint. Mix this up thoroughly so everything is evenly combined. Roll into large meatballs. You’ll make 6 big ones.

Fry in lard until your meatballs are nicely browned all over. Set them aside.

Melt some extra lard in large pot over medium heat. Add onions, stirring until translucent and lightly browned. Add pureed and diced tomatoes. That entire head of garlic? I want you to smash it all up, but no chopping. Leave the cloves whole, but SMASHY SMASHY. Add to tomatoes. Add your 1 extra tablespoon oregano. Bring to boil. Turn down to medium low and simmer for about an hour to reduce. This sauce will get thick and concentrated with flavour. It’s food-gasmic. Don’t forget to stir frequently. You can burn tomatoes!

Harry doesn’t like it when I smash garlic. He scurries low to the ground and vamooses out of the kitchen.

OH MAMA AH DO NOT LIKE IT WEN U SMASH DA GARLIK. WAI U GOTTA B SEW MEAN. DAT GARLIK IS SEW NICE LIKE ME U NO.

Add meatballs to reduced sauce. Cook for about 20 – 30 minutes. Add the extra tablespoon of basil at the very end.

Serve this on top of baby spinach; the heat will wilt and cook them nicely. Or spaghetti squash. Or even a roasted sweet potato. The possibilities are exquisite!

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Blackened, Rich and Beautiful Chicken Thighs!

Le sigh.

I’m so sorry kids. I’m really, really frakin’ sorry for not having posted in weeks. It’s not that I haven’t been cooking. Food’s going down at this Primal-ites house…I’ve just been busy. Know what else?

We bought a HOUSE! I mean, we already have a house. But paying condo fees isn’t fun, and while we love the house, we have longed to move back to our old stomping grounds while we rented: Port Credit in gorgeous South Mississauga.

The Universe did us a solid: it found us a gorgeous, charming and very cute semi-detached home just west of Port Credit, in super-sexy, ultra-pretigious Lorne Park. Oh em gee. Everything came together beautifully. It was all just so easy. Our agent even grew up on the same street as wifey. Too many odd quirks and ‘coincidences’ popped up. I love when that stuff happens.

Now, we will be listing our town home for sale very soon. We have a wee bit of cleaning here and there to do, but our house is fabulous, and we have no concerns about it selling, and selling fast.

As I type this, I have a large chunk of beef roasting in the oven. I am starving. I’m super psyched to eat it with some squash I think I’ll boil up, mash with butter and herbs.

Also, my ass and hamstrings are killing me from the Crossfit WOD I did yesterday. It was insane. Walking, sitting, getting *up* from a sitting position: yeah, it HURTS!

SO MUCH PAIN!

My back is loving all of it. It feels one billion times better than it ever has, in that I am in NO PAIN whatsoever. Car accident? What car accident?

Let’s talk about food. I could write about a lot of things I’ve done over the last few weeks. I’ll space it out instead.

A few weeks back, wifey was battling some infection that comes and goes every year and attacks her vocal chords. Being the health nerd and food nut that I am, I prepared her an anti-inflammatory, immune-system boosting concoction that Mark Sisson of MDA calls Turmeric Tea.

This is a potent, rich, flavourful tea combining powerful anti-inflammatory ingredients such as turmeric and black pepper. In fact, the addition of black pepper is what actually gives the turmeric it’s inflammation-kicking qualities.

Combined with warm, intense, flavours of cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves, the turmeric blends into a smokey, lingering warmth on your tongue. The coconut milk is rich and smooth; it’s a perfect carrier for all ingredients , its silkiness cooling down the heat of the spices.

Edited March 27th, 2015. NOPE NOPE NOPE. I made said turmeric tea a few months back when I was down with a cold. And you know what? It’s fucking disgusting. Just…NOPE.

I had some boneless, skinless chicken thighs to cook. I wanted some deep, rich, flavourful blackened chicken. I knew what would achieve this for longer cooking times: lard!

I made a large batch of this spice mix; I continuously seasoned the chicken while it cooked. I don’t recommend cooking chicken thighs on high. They like long, low heat. These took about 25 minutes.

By now you know I eyeball everything in the kitchen. Take these as serious approximations, and feel free to experiment with amounts:

I used about 1.5 tablespoons of cinnamon as the main ingredient, with 1 teaspoon, maybe 2, each remaining ingredient. Maybe a little less for the nutmeg. Try for .5 teaspoon.

Cinnamon
Chipotle
Black Pepper
Garlic Powder
Marjoram
Turmeric
Paprika

mmm…spicy!

Combine all ingredients and generously sprinkle over chicken thighs coated with some olive oil. Heat a large frying pan on medium high heat, and add about 1 tablespoon of lard. You know me: I love my wild boar lard. It’s perfect for dark, flavourful chicken. Season chicken with sea salt prior to adding to pan.

When your pan is hot, add your chicken. Now, don’t crowd it. Meat that needs to sear and brown doesn’t like to be crowded. It’ll be all like:

“DUDE GIMME SOME ROOM MANG. I CAN’T FUNCTION IN THIS TIGHT SPACE OKAY?!”

Or something like that. Your meat will actually start to steam in it’s own juices. We don’t want that.

Let the chicken darken and sear for about 2 – 3 minutes on one side. Flip it. Turn your heat down, and cover. Check on this periodically, and flip every so often. Keep adding seasoning to both sides. Cook until chicken is no longer pink.

I enjoyed this with butternut squash. You can eat it with whatever you like. But please, enjoy it 😉

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Welcome to PrimalPat! Roast Beef and BBQ Parsnip Fries…say WAT

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Hey you!

Welcome to my life. Yes, it’s true. You found me. I’m here to give you new food inspiration for your primal/paleo eating habits. I’m here to make you laugh, chortle and educated. On top of being an at-home chef, I’m a bit of a nutrition nut. I study this stuff like it’s my Masters or PhD. It may as well be.

Edited March 27th, 2015. Don’t be a fucking food snob. Everyone will hate you. I know. I never had candida, either. BOO!

But what would a food blog be without a FOOD POST?!

Ok, there’s some back story to this. I broke my 24-hour fast with this meal. If you’re not sure why one would fast, I suggest heading over to Mark’s Daily Apple and do a wee bit of searching. Intermittent fasting is great for fat-burning acceleration, but also, for health reasons. I’m battling a candida overgrowth, and I want the little bastard to die already. So, while my tummy rumbled, I fed it plenty of water, olive leaf-extract, and a few candida stopping pills. The immense beauty and smell of dinner this evening was too much, and I had to give in!

Roast Beef and BBQ Parsnip Fries (who needs potatoes?!)

1 big ol’ hunk of beef (pot roast, shoulder, whatever)

1 large white onion, 2 – 3 cloves of garlic, smashed

Salt, pepper, turmeric, sweet paprika, garlic powder, sage, marjoram

Several tablespoons of wild boar lard (or delicious fat of your choice)

3 – 4 parsnips, peeled, cut up into fry-like pieces

Parchment paper (this will make your life so much easier, I promise)

Story and Instructions

After my physio appointment earlier today, I stopped by a nearby grocery store to pick up some food stuffs. I was craving beef. Hell, I was craving everything, since I’d been up since a little after 8am, and had nothing, absolutely nothing to eat. Water was sustaining me. Everything looked and smelled delicious in that damned grocery store. I headed over to the meat isle and found a nice big ‘ol slab of beef. Now, remember…I was shopping in a fasted state. I don’t remember the cut I bought. Maybe it was a rib-eye roast, or round tip roast. I don’t care. It was a big honking piece of beef, and I was STARVING. So, I bought it. I also bought two pieces of veal shank osso buco…which is making me crazy stupid excited to try out. That’s for another day.

Another thing: I just discovered wild boar lard at a shop called Medium Rare. I’m confident God eats plenty of this stuff. We’ve been using it to fry bacon, eggs, veggies, and yes, it plays an important role in this meal. But fear not, reader! If you do not have wild boar lard, use bacon fat, coconut oil, pork lard, or hell, a combination of all of the above.

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees. Preheat your frying pan at around medium heat, and keep it there for nearly five minutes. It’ll be hot, but not holy-shit-smoking hot. Add in your lard. Slosh it around in the pan. Now, take that hunka-hunka piece of beef you bought, and gently place it in your pan. Ssssssssss. Sizzling, right? Good. Season generally with salt and pepper. Now, leave it alone. I’m serious. Leave it! Let the frying pan and beef get to know each other, and mingle. You’re going leave those two alone for close to five minutes.

K? You ready? Grab your tongs, and flip that bad boy carefully onto it’s other side. Wow! You’ve probably got a sexy, seared piece of meat huh? Yes, you do. K, now leave it again for a few minutes. At this temperature, you won’t burn it. I promise. Unless you had a washroom emergency, and you were in there for uh, way too long. Then I can’t help you. You’ve got a burnt piece of meat.

Repeat this process until every single side of that beef is dark, beautiful and crispy. If that means holding it up with your tongs and standing there like a fool for five minutes, so be it. It’s worth it! Trust me!

Chop up that onion into chunks. Lay ’em down in a roasting pan, season with salt and pepper, and toss those crushed garlic gloves in. Those poor garlic gloves. So crushed. *sniffle*

Once that beef is seared, carefully place it on top of your onion bed, if you will. Now, sprinkle generously with your beautiful turmeric, paprika, sage, marjoram, garlic powder. And…a few blobs of lard. Yes, do it. DOOO EEEET. Some extra salt and pepper, but don’t go crazy. Is your oven ready? Awesome. Chuck her in!

I gave mine about 1.5 hours in the oven. It is juicy, delicious, with a crispy, delicious crust.

Now, increase your oven temp to 400 degrees. Now on to those fries! Oh my god. These fries are so good, they make me weep.

By now, you’ve peeled and cut up your parsnips. Lay out some parchment paper onto your baking sheet or two (parchment paper makes cleanup so easy; but if you don’t have it, no biggie. I aint’ doing yer dishes!). Melt about 1 – 2 tablespoons of lard in a small bowl in the microwave. Drizzle over yer ‘snips, and toss ’em to coat. Generously coat with salt, pepper, turmeric, paprika and more garlic powder. Toss ’em so they’re eventually coated. I’d say you’re probably using about 2 tablespoons each of turmeric and paprika, the rest to your choosing. You should have some beautiful, colourful parsnips there, friend! Once your oven is ready, pop ’em in. You’ll want to check on these bad boys after 15 – 20 minutes in. Flip ’em, or they’ll burn on one side. At this point, I stir in a teaspoon or two of more lard for flavour. This stuff is unreal! Really! Put ’em back in for about 5 – 10 minutes.

Are you ready for this?!

This meal is amazing hot out of the oven, or cold. It’s outstanding. It was worth breaking my fast. I ate the ‘fuck out of it’, as my awesome wife Linda would say. I made these parsnip fries the other day, and they were a huge hit with her. Remember: cooking isn’t just for you to fed your big mouth. It’s most importantly, for those you love 😀

To food, joy, health and love. Enjoy!

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